Chavez who?

Hugo Chavez is the President of Venezuela. Where? Who? Venezuela is a relatively poor South American country with two distinguishing features, its not too far from the US and its got Oil. Chavez- Former Paratrooper and Communist Party idealogue, staged two unsuccessful coup attempts in 1992, came out of prison in 1994 to win an election in 1998, has been in power since then, in quite eventful circumstance's- a coup in 2002 and counter-coup to put him back in office.In short a typical South American political story...from the 70's that is, since most South American Countries have had relatively stable democracies since 1985 (remember the old joke "Viva El-Presidente- whoever he is!"). So what's so special about Chavez? Well, The White House has been somewhat unhappy with him describing him as a "demagogue who uses Venezuela's oil wealth to destabilize democracy in the region". Well as is generally the case, a little maverick shoots to popularity or notoriety after such a glowing endorsement and we all (sorry some of us) get to notice him. Here are some of his notable achievements:

1. He recently called George Bush the following names (in order of delivery)- A. Dumbass; B. A fool and C. In one memorable address on March 16th 2006- A Donkey (which ordinarily should not have been an insult since the symbol of George Bush's Republican Party is in fact a Donkey, George didn't quite agree); A Murderer, an Assassin (repetitive but distinguishable), a coward and a drunk.

2. He referred to Condoleeza Rice as a complete Illiterate in affairs of Latin America.

3. In the aftermath of Hurricane Katerina, Chavez was the first to offer relief supplies to his "North American brothers", which predictably was refused. He also signed an agreement with the state of Massachussets to provide heating oil at a 40% discount to low income families via one of his State Oil subsidiaries, saying "Such aid comprises "a strong oil card to play on the geopolitical stage....it is a card that we are going to play with toughness against the toughest country in the world, the United States."

4. Since 1994, Chavez has had "a special relationship" with Fidel Castro, based on shared idealogy and a common dislike for America (or its policies). Chavez has over the years sold heavily discounted Oil to Cuba in exchange for 20,000 and later 40, 000 Cuban Doctors and Teachers.

5.Venezuela under Chavez has been one of OPEC's price hawks, pushing for Output restrictions to influence price hikes.

6. Has initiated and executed a massive Social reform programme in Venezuela based on Poverty alleviation and Social Welfare, essentially equitable distribution of Venezuela's oil revenues.

7. Pushed for greater militarisation by South American countries.

8. He opposed the war in Iraq.

9. He err..sponsored a massive Samba dancing School or competition in Brazil with maximum visibility (blind angle dude!)

You make your mind up as to whether he's a good or bad guy. My view? Well, I have my doubts about his fashion sense, obviously his sense of subtlety is definitely called to question with such colours.

May 30th 2006

This marks the day the Nigerian Civil War started and which- by the way- is my birthday. The dubious anniversary of the day I reluctantly emerged unto this massive spherical (but wondrous) organic compost heap, also mildly ironical that I was born smack dab in the middle of the biggest modern war Africa had ever seen at the time. Is there generally anything to celebrate? Yes there bloody well is. Why?:

A. Surviving being slithered over by a poisonous snake before the age of one;
B. Surviving numerous Air Raids and other war conditions before the age of two;
C. Surviving severe infantile asthma;
D. Surviving 1990 ("the year of the locust"- during National Service);
E. Surviving the 7 drug crazed Robbers with AK-47's whose avowed intention was to blow my head off after taking all my money (How I know? They said so, never underestimate the motivation of a Crackhead).
F. Surviving the Plane Crash.
G. Having the two most wonderful children God placed on earth.
H. The most wonderful family (parents especially, caring for pestilent children when you're having Bombs dropped on you by Egyptian Mercenary Pilots, poses challenges to even the most gifted parents, I am indeed blessed).
I. My path in life, mistakes made but regrets few.
J. The friends one has made along the way, not too many but of whom I'm proud to know.

Some of the above may sound far-fetched but not a single exaggeration, as those who know me are well aware (and for whose benefit this is anyway, couldn't care less about the others).

Well.. Spice Island in Rotherhithe it shall be tomorrow evening, for a quiet reflective drink with the following friends: The pedantic Paediatric Surgeon, The stingy Security Consultant, The even stingier Solicitor, The sanguine Surveyor cousin, The jovial Journalist, The delectable designer + mate, The sassy Saxophonist and the Golders Green Geezer. For the avoidance of doubt we're all going Dutch, I presume I've made myself clear.

I'm not ordinarily one for these things but recent events make me realise the need to stay in touch with one's own constituency. Notably absent however, shall be the magnificent Melbourne mate (a true friend if there ever was one) but a drink in her honour shall be had. Other high points being a call from the distinguished personage of my toddler offspring and hopefully from my parents currently hibernating in Canada.

You're invited if you can find the place and are prepared to buy your own bloody drinks.

A Game of Numbers? PT 1

A GAME OF NUMBERS? PT 1

1. Number of civilian dead in Iraq 40,000 circa (and counting)

2. Number of civilian dead in Bosnia 54, 700 circa

3. Number of civilian dead in the Battle of Britain -hence WWII- 60,000

4. Civilian dead - Hiroshima and Nagasaki 397, 000

5. Number of civilian dead in Biafra- 1, 700,000

6. Number civilian dead in the Congo 3, 900, 000

7. Number of civilian dead in Vietnam- 4,000,000

8.Number of civilian dead in the Soviet Union during WWII- 29,000,000

In Military parlance this is collateral damage. There have been several other conflicts in and around the timelines of these conflicts listed here so clearly this is not an exhaustive list. I'm no bleeding heart but I'd say that if you had ever seen battle or lost someone in battle, there would be a certain reluctance to jump into conflict. A look back at the Politicians who have encouraged recent wars are either people who have neither seen war or actually profit from war either materially or politically. Please correct me if I'm wrong, I'd really appreciate it.

Having said that, whatever the arguments on all sides, each of these numbers above represents a human life someones child, father, sister, brother, father or mother, with plans/dreams/convictions like we all have. To us now they are numbers in a boring paper or blog- fine. War can be inevitable at times, but not as a tool for someone's selfish aims. This changes nothing I guess, war is big business and big egos (when our children don't have to die in them). I leave you with a typical Defence Industry advert. Click on the link below

http://www.hkdefense.us/pages/military-le/rifles-carbines/hk416.html

Extreme Thrill Seekers or Heroic Idealists- Pt 1 (Von Rosen)

Carl Gustav Von Rosen

Count Carl Gustav Von Rosen was born in Sweden in 1909 and rather notoriously was Herman Goering's nephew (his aunt was married to Goering). Obviously of privileged background he started his professional career as a Pilot (largely influenced by Goering who was Head of the Luftwaffe and a WW1 Flying Ace) as part of a Flying Circus, firstly as a Mechanic and then as a Pilot.

When Mussolini invaded Ethiopia (then ruled by Emperor Haile Sellassie a direct descendant -as Ethiopians will remind you- of the Queen of Sheba), Von Rosen promptly dropped everything and joined the Red Cross, flying Medical and food supplies. This was not without considerable risk in that the Italian Airforce did not discriminate between Humanitarian and Military planes, he indeed survived several attacks (though in all honesty the Italian Airforce was quite poor at the time, but dangerous all the same).

After this he moved to Holland and joined KLM (the world's first airline), where he met and married his wife, of course marital bliss was cut short by antecedents to WW2 and upon the Invasion of Finland by the Russians (The Winter War of 1938), he joined the Finnish Airforce, famously dropping bombs by hand on the Russians, from the cargo door of a Civilian aircraft. When the Germans invaded Holland, Von Rosen's wife joined the resistance and was killed. Von Rosen, then came over to England and tried to join the RAF, but was rejected on account of his relationship to Goering (and probably on account of his having fought with the Finns, who were for a time allies of the Nazis). He then went back to Holland flying for KLM on the extremely dangerous London-Lisbon route.

After the war he returned to Africa firstly as an Instructor for the Ethiopian Airforce and subsequently as Pilot for Dag Hammarskjold (UN Secretary General) who was involved in mediating in the crisis in the Congo. A cloud exists here in that Hammarskjold reputedly was killed in an aircrash on the one day Von Rosen took ill and couldn't fly him. In addition, documents were uncovered in South African Secret Service Records that show that there was definitely a plot to blow up Hammarskjold's plane on the said date- however thats another story.

Von Rosen, however gained International fame with his famed bombing raids during the Nigerian Civil War (1967-1970), where he first started out flying Relief supplies into Biafran territory to beat the deliberate blockade by the Nigerian Government of food supplies into Biafra (a Nigerian Minister openly said "Starvation is a weapon of war").

By the way a simple guide to the Nigerian Civil War is thus- A Military coup by Soldiers from the East of Nigeria in which Northern Politicians are killed, the Northern population goes up in arms and full scale genocide of Eastern Civilians of the Ibo tribe ensued 30-50,000 in all (women, children and babies - even the unborn inclusive). My parents still remember gore soaked, silent trains full of the dead and maimed, coming into the capital of Biafra from the North during the genocide. The Ibos then decide to go their own way, rather than retaliate and form an Independent country called Biafra led by the charismatic, eloquent and -later to be seen- down-right barmy Epsom, Cambridge and Sandhurst trained officer Colonel Emeka Ojukwu. Of course the Nigerian Government took exception to this initiative and a full scale war started which lasted three years and in which over 2 Million Biafrans (mostly Civilians) died from starvation and indiscriminate slaughter of civilians (via bombing raids and in some instances from summary execution of old men and young boys) by the Nigerian Army. It is of course necessary to mention that within the territory of Biafra lay almost all of Nigeria's Oil supplies (on-shore and off-shore), I guess it all makes sense now doesn't it? A quick note about the bombing raids which were piloted by mostly British and Egyptian "Mercenary" Pilots. They were almost always focused on Civilian targets, killing thousands within clearly identifiable civilian targets e.g Markets, Hospitals and homesteads and targeting Relief supply Aircrafts and Airfields. My Lai by comparison was a Salvation Army Picnic.

Von Rosen, it is reputed did not fly for monetary gain in Biafra, other than his bare expenses, its said by those who knew him that he was motivated mainly by a sense of the deep injustice that the Biafran's were being subjected. This sense of injustice was then heightened by the constant attacks on the Relief flights by the Nigerian Airforce (one example being a Red Cross plane which was shot down even after receiving flight plan pre-approval from the Nigerian authorities). He was able to convince the Biafran authorities to allow him acquire some Combat Aircraft, which he ostensibly acquired as part of the Relief effort (SAAB MF9-9B- "the Minicoin"), but which Von Rosen knew to have originally been designed with Combat capabilities. Upon returning to Biafra, he kitted the planes out with Rockets (and some say with bombs manufactured by the Local Scientists). He recruited a number of "friends" to fly the planes (a motley crew of Mercenaries, Idealists and a Biafran Pilot- Chude Sokei) who concentrated on destroying half of the Nigerian Airforce Fleet of MiG-17's and Ilyushin-II-28's (surprise, surprise- Russian built!). This small fighting force then concentrated its efforts on destroying the Airfields from which the Nigerian Airforce launched its attacks on Humanitarian transport planes, partially destroying them.

Von Rosen was famed for his meticulous planning/timing of the raids which were always carried out with maximum effect and with the minimum of loss of life (on both sides) being that the attacks were focused on ground based targets. Escaping from attack was however an effort involving great skill and ability in that they were almost always under constant attack both in the air and from Ground fire.

This adventure ended with the defeat of Biafra and Von Rosen moved on to other adventures with his last being the Ethiopian S0mali War, where he died flying relief supplies in the Ogaden.

The question is why he did this, he could have been an extremely wealthy and unremarkable Pilot or free-loading Noble- given his antecedents, but he chose to face constant danger for causes that had no bearing on his personal circumstances. Some might even point to his Nazi connections- well he wasn't a Nazi his aunt was married to one and thats not a crime, Thrillseeker, Egomaniac? Maybe, but there is no doubt that he saved thousands of lives whilst putting his own at risk and there are certain parts of Africa and expecially in Ethiopia and Biafra where his name lives forever in Legend as a hero. The photos above are of Von Rosen and others of the scenes that moved him to risk his life and for a lot of the time, expend his own resources. The Copyright for the War-time photos above are held by the Bettmann/CORBIS archive.

The Biafran war also captured the imagination of the following who actively contributed to the Relief effort-
Jimi Hendrix, Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, George Harrison, John Lennon and many others, by cash donations, free concerts or gestures, apparently Lennon returned his MBE on account of British support for the Nigerians in the Biafran War -amongst other things. Noteworthy also is the principled stance taken by the most unlikely character- Auberon Waugh, (yes the same one) who stringently and consistently criticised Harold Wilson for colluding in the use of starvation as a political weapon.

One of the best summaries of the Nigerian Civil War and indeed Von Rosen's part is a no frills account by a guy called Gary Brecher - absolutely brilliant http://www.exile.ru/2004-October-15/war_nerd.html

Memorable quote From A famous Nigerian Military Commander (Sandhurst trained General Adekunle):

"I want to see no Red Cross, no Caritas, no World Council of Churches, no Pope, no missionary and no UN delegation.I want to prevent even one Ibo from having even one piece to eat before their capitulation. We shoot at everything that moves and when our troops march into the centre of Ibo territory, we shoot at everything even at things that do not move... "


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=49183&songID=319437

Now this is Extremely worrying!

Oh dear!

Charles Clarke and Alfred E Neuman- The Truth is out!

I don't think there's any need to say much. Charles Clarke and Alfred E Neuman are one and the same, this is conclusive proof.

For those who've never heard of Alfred E Neuman, please read the text below which was culled from Wikipedia,

"Alfred E. Neuman is the fictional mascot of EC Publications' Mad magazine. The face had drifted through American pictography for decades before being claimed by MAD editor Harvey Kurtzman.
Neuman's likeness, distinguished by jug ears, a missing front tooth, and one eye eerily higher than the other, has graced the cover of most monthly issues. He first appeared in November 1954 on the cover of Ballantine's The Mad Reader, a collection of reprints from earlier issues. In 1956, his identity became fixed and his finetuned image was first rendered in iconic form by Norman Mingo. Mingo would become the magazine's signature cover artist through the 1960s and 1970s. Several 1950s Neuman covers were also painted by the "dean of Science Fiction artists," Kelly Freas.
Neuman has appeared as Santa Claus, Darth Vader, George Washington and Uncle Sam ("WHO NEEDS YOU"), to name a few. He is periodically offered as a candidate for President with the slogan, "You could do worse, and always have"

Divorce Settlements- The Sequel!!

Divorce Settlements - The Sequel (Revenge of The Male Species)

Well chaps, I guess we didn't really have to wait too long to see the other spectrum of the divorce settlement saga, yes it's happened. In Martin-Dye v Martin-Dye, the Court of Appeal ruled that Mr Martin-Dye could keep the £3m he got as an initial settlement and an additional £646,000.00 (there is of course the "small" question of his legal costs).

Significantly Mr Martin-Dye was ruled not to be required to share his £940,000.00 pension with his wife, rather she was held to be entitled to 57% of his annual income from his pension (£37,840.00), he on the other hand was held to be entitled to 43% of her £5818.00 policy. By the way she owned the greater share 0f assets in the marriage and actually had a lot more than he did (90% of the assets) when they first got married. He was an Airline Pilot and carried on working throughout the marriage.

As expected Mrs Martin-Dye is not exactly beaming with smiles. Any prizes for guessing as to whether an Appeal to the House of Lords is imminent. No prizes, sorry, too obvious. I can almost swear that the House of Lords shall vary this Judgement and I certainly expect some insightful input from the exceptionally able Baroness Hale of Richmond (although I do think her perspective in Miller and McFarlane uncharacteristically left some issues outstanding) as well as Lord Nicholls of Birkenhead, who read the lead Judgement.

Where do I stand? Totally neutral chaps, we're all pawns in the process, lets just sit and watch. However I was a wee bit uncomfortable with Mr Martin-Dyes' malevolent smirk after the Judgement, in contrast to the wide-eyed volcanic expression on his ex-wife's face. Well, you know what they say no matter who wins eventually, the Lawyers are unlikely to lose at the end of the day.

Ringside seats are likely to be available on ebay.

DIVORCE SETTLEMENTS

There, there guys, before the brothers choke in apoplectic panic, shouldn't we calm down and study the basic principles laid down in the recent Judgements? (Miller v Miller; McFarlane v McFarlane) Basically the two Appeals decided by the House of Lords granted substantial maintenance payments to Mrs McFarlane basically £250K p.a for life and a lump sum/property settlement to Mrs Miller -£5m, out of her husband's £17.5M stash, even though they had only been married for two years.

In Mrs McFarlane's case, the principle (and rightly so in my view) was that she had given up a high flying career to look after their matrimonial home - for 18 years and hence was entitled to a reasonable standard of living. Bear in mind she was a trained teacher as well as a Solicitor and earned more than her husband at the onset of marriage, working as a City Solicitor, a career she sacrificed. She had initially been awarded £250K by the Court of Appeal for 5 years, which was overturned by the Lords. I believe the woman deserves every penny she's been awarded. This principle that a stay at home wife is an equal contributor to the marriage isn't new having been established in White v White. In addition the principle of maintenance based on future earnings was previously applied in Parlour v Parlour (Ray Parlour).

Mrs Miller however got £5M after 2 years of marriage (with no children) because, wait for it... she had entered into the marriage on the legitimate expectation of an improved standard of living. This might seem rather crass and one might deem her a gold-digging harpy, however wait one bare minute. Mr Miller accepted that he had encouraged her to abandon her career with Colgate-Palmolive and stay home for "play money" to maintain the kind of lifestyle "he could well afford". The bugger knew what the rules were simple as that, the woman had made herself clear as to what she expected and he agreed that he would satisfy (Marriage is after all a contract) . In addition the bounder ditched her after getting bored and hooked up with someone else, subsequently, she suffered a miscarriage. The undeniable fact is that In the thrall of his ego-tripping pursuit of the fair maiden he had dangled his cheque-book tantalisingly as a bait and she bit, so why complain?

There's now a lot of fear in the City, in Canary Wharf and in the Surrey suburbs by high flying Soul Brothers (of all races by the way) about the efficacy of a Pre-Nuptial agreement. Sorry, its not binding and only persuasive. Some might consider blind-trusts, well good luck to you, but the Tracing Jurisdiction of the High Court is one of the most potent in the world- say no more.

Succour is however at hand fellows, yes (I can smell the anticipation), these Judgements are by no means certain in terms of providing guidelines for settlement, it remains entirely subjective to the peculiar circumstances, hence there will certainly be more Appeals on the subject before the Lords Also, the House of Lords also determined that certain assets are not inclusive in the "pot", such as those acquired before the marriage or those for which there was no intention of joint involvement (unwieldy and confusing, though probably giving credence to the use of a Pre-Nuptial agreement). However thats the only good news, these cases now prescribe the Law. In short amount of maintenance is no longer determined by reasonable living expenses but by standards to which the spouse was accustomed and length of a marriage is no longer a determinant of a settlement. The other side is that the Law equally applies to men, who give up careers to look after the kids, while the Missus goes out to bring home the bacon. Small victory?

Comparative Studies in Motivation

1. Letter home from an Italian soldier in North Africa during WW2:

"I am tired of this stinking hole filled with sand that gets everywhere, with the millions of devilish flies that swarm all over us and this horrible war and all our friends who have died needlessly to make those old men happy..."

2. Letter from a Russian Soldier to his wife during the defence of Stalingrad WW2 (In conditions far worse than in North Africa, equally against incredible odds at the time.)

"Zoya, the Germans will not withstand us, Sergei" (That was it).

Six Lessons From Dad

My dad taught me a few things when I was young, principles I know he lived strictly by, recent events bring them back to me. In all honesty they matter more than any monetary legacy he could leave me and hopefully which I shall leave for my own children.

Strive hard, give 200%, and always get an early start.

If you've honestly done your best and don't succeed, know when to stop and move on with dignity- it isn't yours, what is yours will eventually come to you.

Be humble, status means nothing, fortune's change constantly.

Hold on to your dreams, convictions and beliefs, these are all you really bring to and take away from this world and the only things the world cannot take away from you.

Show respect for all but fear no man.

Never be afraid to love and show love, its a gift. If you do not get it in return then its not your loss its the others

William Hung

My kids were over at the weekend and as such I was compelled to stay in and watch TV for once. I was thus privileged to watch such classics as Tracy Beaker, Malcolm in the Middle and the Inimitable- Sponge Bob Square Pants (In all honesty, I confess to being a closet Sponge-Bob fan and one day shall take out formal membership using my son's name).

By sheer coincidence I stumbled on American Idol - on ITV (the musical talent show). A glitzy, commercial hype-fest (though with some undeniable talent). At some stage a Geriatric Record Industry Mogul - Clive Davis came up on stage to accept a lifetime achievement award (which of course had nothing to do with the fact that his company BMG/Arista owns the American Idol Production Company, an objective award or what?)

Anyway he goes on to extol the virtues of the American Idol Format in his acceptance speech, which was expressed purely in terms of blah, blah millions sold in 2003, 2004 and so on and so forth. Mentioning the names of all the Artistes responsible for the sales (lets forget that he fails to mention the rationale which is to expose talent).

One notable omission from his list of achievers is the great William Hung. Big Willy is a Hong Kong native who shot to fame on American Idol for his endearing and all conquering hopelessness. Mr Hung's performance of Ricky Martin's "She bangs" has exploded into the American consciousness as Eddie the Eagle's heroics and Jade Goodie's gormlessness have here in the UK, with considerable financial success for all the culprits. His pitiful yet lovable performance brought dubious but considerable success in America with subsequent performances at several events and appearances on the Talk show circuit (Leno, Ellen etc). In my memory stands his introduction to a show- "he's live!, he's hung, its William Hung!

William Hung is now a cultural icon whether we like it or not, hence I cannot fathom his omission from Clive Davis' speech, I was mortally offended. No one remembers any of the winner's of that contest, however we remember William and can other contestant claim to be (ehm..) bigger than Hung in the eyes of the American public. I challenge any takers.

On a serious note, you can't help but admire such an honest, lovable chap, to me he's more of a winner than some of the plastic flowers with fake tans/hair and smiles that are the fare of the musical industry. I like his words, "I only gave my best I have no regrets at all". That to me is the magic he has to offer. I confess to being a convert to The Cult of the Hung (take that in anyway you want, I really don't care).

I have added a link to William's website.

http://www.williamhung.net

LETTERS FROM THE CRYPT

I was minding my business on a sunday afternoon checked the email box of my Entertainment Company .... Entertainment@yahoo.com, only to find this, from some charming fella from Nigeria, who addressed me as Mr Entertainment, and purported to represent my late Brother Mr Rick Entertainment. I felt it would be rude not to reply and I have in italics.


Dear Mr Entertainment,


My name is Adams Agba Barrister at law, and the Personal Attorney to late Mr.Rick Entertainment,a foreigner, who used to work with Jangle Cement Company here in Nigeria, on 31st of July 2000, my client and his entire got involved With an air craft {US Concorde Flight AF4590 } which crashed at Charlotte/Douglas International Airport. killing all 109 passengers on board, you can confirm from this website

:(http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm).

Since then I have made several enquiries to locate any of my late clients extended relatives and this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts,I decided to trace his relatives over the Internet, to locate any member of his family but of no avail, hence I contacted you.

I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the fund left behind by my late client because the bank have asked me as his lawyer to produce his next of kin.

Particularly, the Bank have given me a notice to provide the next of kin to claim the contract valued at about US$15.5 Million Dollars or have the amount confisicated, since I have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over years, now I seek your conscent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you are a foreigner and as well have the same surname with that of my late client,the proceeds of this account valued at US$15.5 Million can be paid to you.

All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us see this deal through.I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law of your country and my country too as a professional legal attorney in the field.

Please, get in touch with me through my private email address above to enable us claim the fund from the bank as the new beneficiary. I hope to hear from you soon.

More importantly, you are strictly advice to send your reply to my Private and personal email address above for security and confidential reason.(barristeradams208@yahoo.fr)

Finally,kindly maintain confidentiality between you and I on this transaction.

I await your urgent response.

Best Regards,

Barrister Adams Agba (Esq)

Dear Adams,

Thanks so much for your most helpful email, to assist you in what I perceive are the difficulties you are facing in your new profession- Fraud, I have done a critique of your letter, please do not take offence but rather consider me a good Samaritan who only wants the best for you.



1. Firstly, it is exceedingly unlikely that any person who actually is entitled to $15.5Million would have a surname like Entertainment, quite frankly I think you've been had. As a matter of urgency contact the person who sold you this mailing list and have a word with him.However I like the name Jangle Cement, it has a nice ring to it- well done



2. Your mail states you require my honest co-operation, that of course presents some difficulties since honesty as a concept is not something Lawyers or indeed Fraudsters are comfortable with and as I said I only want the best for you and would hate to cause you discomfort by assuming conduct bearing any semblance with the dreaded "H" word.



3. The plane crash actually took place in Paris, not Charlotte/Douglas Airport (wherever that is), a little bit more effort would have been appropriate if you seek to separate me or any other person from my/their hard-earned cash.



4.In response to your request for confidentiality, unfortunately Im a blabber mouth who's just posted your email and email address on my blog, hence the confidentiality you seek -and I might add so richly deserve is likely to elude you in this instance. There is a small likelihood that someone will be stupid enough to fall for your overtures- however ( God forbid) thus I 've also forwarded your email to the Metropolitan Police, no doubt they might be willing to assist you and may have some thoughts along the lines I have suggested, so you see, I am trying to help Adams.



5. Your assurances of protecting me from any breach of the law are most reassuring, especially as you don't seem to know where the plane crash took place or indeed your clients name and are obviously going to scarper when the "Jangle" hits the fan. Im indeed grateful.



6. Finally Adams, I believe Ive done my good deed for the day, I wish you the best in your professional pursuits, however I would ask that you do not waste valuable Internet Cafe time emailing me again otherwise you're going to get these long. and ultimately fruitless replies.


Regards,

A... Entertainment Limited

My worry however is that there'll always be some idiot somewhere who'll fall for this. The saying a fool and his money are soon parted, could not be more apt. Please, please beware. They wouldn't do it if no-one fell for it.

Ginger Baker

This fellow was born Peter Edward Baker, on the 19th of August 1939 in Lewisham South East London. He's probably best known as a drummer and played in a number of Band's - Alexis Korner's Blues Incorporated (apparently on the recommendation of Charlie Watts). He eventually found fame as a member of the enigmatic super-group Cream, the band consisted of Baker on Drums, Jack Bruce on Bass and a certain err..Eric Clapton on Guitar. Massive egos and Rock and Roll lifestyles meant this Band didn't last too long, but anoraks like myself and members of the sold-out audience at the Royal Albert Hall in May last year will testify that this was one of the most important bands in Rock history period-enough said. I shall briefly and condescendingly recount a few of their hits for the uninitiated (and plain ignorant if you ask me)- Wrapping paper, Cats Squirrel-(from the Fresh Cream album), Tales of Great Ulysses, Strange Brew (Disraeli Gears album), Spoonful and Toad, the ground-breaking Drum Solo track by Baker-the first in Rock history. The band's split was no surprise, being preceded by a tumultuous relationship- Clapton actually recalled a performance in which he stopped playing for a couple of minutes with Baker and Bruce failing to notice.

Ginger Baker quite simply was the best Rock Drummer of that time, characterised by explosive, energetic and almost wild improvisational solos and off-beat patterns. Unlike a lot of other Rock Drummer's he had a grounding in Jazz Playing a in a number of British Jazz bands in the late 50's and early 60's and counted the legendary Jazz Drummer- Art Blakey another frenetic and energetic off-beat Drummer as his influence.

On his beginnings as a drummer Baker had this to say-

"I had been into drums from a listening point of view for quite a time. I used to bang on the table with knives and forks and drive everybody mad. I used to get the kids at school dancing by banging rhythms on the school desk! They kept on at me to sit in with this band. The band wasn't very keen, but in the end I sat in and played the bollocks off their drummer. And that was the first time I'd sat on a kit. I heard one of the band turn round and say: 'Christ, we've got a drummer' and I thought, 'Hello, this is something I can do'."- Culled from www.jackbruce.com.

His Jazz Band days were not without event, being sacked from many a band for his wild technique and legendary short temper. However he appeared to settle with Alexis Korner's Blues Incorporated , attracting the attention of Phil Seamen, the great Modern Jazz drummer, who rushed over to watch Ginger at the All Niter club (Wardour Street) on the recommendation of Tubby Hayes his Sax player. Phil Seamen happened to be one of Ginger's heroes.

Cream lasted for three years i.e 1966-1969 subsequent to which Ginger Baker formed several collaborations with the following Blind Faith (with Clapton and others), Hawkwind, Atomic Rooster, Public Image Ltd, Bill Laswell.and Masters of Reality . As well as his own projects- Ginger Baker's Air Force, Baker Gurvitz Army Ginger Baker's Energy ( from Wikipedia).

Cream performed twice after their split once at their Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction in 1993 and the second being at the reunion concert at the Royal Albert Hall in May 2005 (obviously Clapton's idea and push), where they played their great hits in addition to first time live performance's of "Pressed Rat & Warthog" or "Badge" . They received a Grammy Lifetime achievement award this year.

A restless guy, Baker battled Heroine addiction for 20 years up till the 1980's when he finally quit. He was impulsive, powerful, hugely talented and adventurous. Baker famously kitted up a Van with a portable studio and drove to Nigeria to live and play with Nigerian Sax Legend - Fela Kuti who he adored and with whom he recorded a number of albums and toured with. Overall Ginger Baker lived in Nigeria for 5 and half years from 1970. Fela and Ginger Baker, apparently met in London in the early 60's when Fela was a student at the World Music College and maintained a strong friendship and Musical partnership, with Ginger standing in for Tony Allen (Fela's legendary drummer and still rated as one of the world's best living drummers) when he was ill.

A clip of the recording can be heard via this webpage.

http://www.cduniverse.com/search/xx/music/pid/1947513/a/Fela+Ransome+Kuti+With+Ginger+Baker+Live.htm

Also a review of the album can be found via this link http://www.allaboutjazz.com/php/article.php?id=10863

This recording is often critically acclaimed as one of Ginger Baker's most powerful performance's being in the Afro-Funk genre and having to lead one of the world's best Rhythm sections, the tracks were often marked by the presence on stage of two of the World's best drummers at the time- Ginger Baker and Tony Allen. Inspite of their explosive (Art Blakey influenced) styles the harmony in the performance's was remarkable and a rarity in such an ego-driven profession. Tony Allen by the way is still touring actively at the age of 69, with a collaboration with Damon Albarn due for release.

Ginger had never really been an Interview friendly prospect, but did speak fondly of his Nigerian sojourn in an Interview with Jay Babcock. http://www.jaybabcock.com/ginger.html.

Ginger Baker spent a considerable amountof time in South Africa from the early 80's onwards with his family. The Good thing about this posting is that he's still alive and even though the concert in 2005 showed his age (66 years old for pete's sake), he's still sharp and active and after all the years of exertion and abuse. A real survivor and hero of British music.

THE JIMI HENDRIX EXPERIENCE V THE BAND OF GYPSIES

The Jimmy Hendrix experience was formed in 1966 in London with two Brits - Mitch Mitchell (from Ealing) on Drums and Noel Redding (from Kent) on Bass and of course Hendrix on Guitar. The Band stormed the Rock scene and established Hendrix' reputation with seminal hits "Hey Joe", "Voodoo Child", "Cross Town Traffic", Foxy Lady, "Purple Haze" etc from Three albums- "Are you experienced", "Axis: Bold as love" and "Electric Ladyland"This Band also featured as part of the Monterey Festival in 1967 (apparently Paul McCartney sorted out the gig, so he can't be all that bad), making History with an incendiary performance - especially a cover of Dylan's "All along the Watchtower". The Band's concerts at this point were characterised by Jimi's extravagant stage act, playing the Guitar with his teeth, behind his back and famously thrashing the Guitar or setting it alight as he did at Monterey amongst other places. Also cogent was his popularisation of the Wah Wah effects pedal (a Pedal was named after him) and his exorbitant use of the Distortion Fuzz effect.

The Band in its original form split up in late 1969, as Noel Redding felt the need to express himself -forgetting he had auditioned for the Band as a Guitarist, pretty unwise as Hendrix had no rival- and that he had been forced to learn to the play the Bass in the absence of any other angle. He was in any event a pretty basic but competent Bassist, and owed any unique style to tips from John Entwhistle of The Who. It is of course necessary to mention that Mitch Mitchell was one of the world's best drummers at the time.

Redding's departure meant he would not be part of the performance at Woodstock (and arguably Jimi's most popular) on August 18 1969, his place was taken by Jimi's old Army Buddy - Billy Cox . The performance being under the heading of the band- Gypsy Sun and Rainbows, though it had Mitch Mitchell on Drums. We all remember the rendition of "Star Spangled Banner". Some however argue that the Band was poorly rehearsed- whatever- it was a great performance and the vacuous will probably prefer to remember only the stray Cat from the crowd who jumped on the stage and attempted to play the Conga's- apparently everyone was so laid back-after three days of intense performances in the mud, music and mayhem- he was ignored completely and eventually left the stage on his own.

The Band of Gypsies was formed after the break up of Gypsy Sun and Rainbows, with Jimi, Billy Cox and Buddy Miles. Buddy Miles was in his own right an exceptional Drummer and Singer who had a massive following in the Black audience in America (having been part of the Delfonics, The Inkspots and Electric Flags, as well as Wilson Picketts Band). This Band rehearsed intensely for two weeks in a studio and the Band of Gypsies was born. The Band went ahead and recorded some studio material which was released only after Jimi's death in 1970.

This Band's highest point being the two day concert at Fillimore East in New York. This unarguably is the most intense and electric live performance by Jimi Hendrix, the chemistry between what were three exceptional musicians was so explosive it was almost physically tangible. Three masters in their element and probably at their peak. A lot has been written about this concert, but some people would use the audience reaction as a simple indicator of the power of the performance. The audience unlike what you would expect at a Rock concert listened in almost pin-drop rapt attention and only broke the silence to applaud rapturously between songs- in fact a situation more apposite to a Classical Concert. The most intense performance being the Anti-War song Machine Gun, alongside others like Buddy Miles- "We gotta live together", "Changes", "Power of Soul" and many more including some Experience tracks . Critics argue that Jimi had never and would never perform with that level of intensity and inspiration till his death. The Concert was recorded both on Video and released as a Live Recording - Jimi's only live recording, being that his previous live performances had been released under the Concert headings (eg Woodstock, Greenwich Village and Monterey).

The Band didn't last long and famously split up after Hendrix Manager fired Miles and Cox after a gig wherein Jimi walked off the stage spaced out. The Jimi Hendrix Experience was reformed (with Mitchell and Redding) after this concert but Jimi insisted that Billy Cox be returned, however the Band never recorded again till his death.

Comparison between the The Jimi Hendrix Experience and the Band of Gypsies? This would be completely unfair on the artistes. There is no doubt that they were all exceptional musicians - with the exception of Noel Redding, who was to be honest, average and whose job was merely to provide steady rhythmic accompaniment to Jimi's pyrotechnics. He was no John Entwhistle ( for speed and tonality), James Jamerson (the Bassist behind all the Motown hits of the 60's/early 70's for flair and Interpretation), Larry Graham (Sly and the family Stone- for Innovation) etc. He was a competent journeyman- and thats it. However the rest- Mitchell, Cox, Miles were supermen and played their part in what was Rock history by providing the foil for Jimi Hendrix's heroics.

The Jimi Hendrix Experience exposed Jimi's great talents to the world and whilst it may be said that it almost took away his true essence by some emphasis on crass commercialism (the extravagant stage shows et al), without the Experience we may never have heard of Jimi Hendrix. On the other hand few would argue against the fact that the Band of Gypsies enabled Jimi reclaim his Soul and get back to his musical essence i.e to really play music and also enabled a return to his Bluesy roots. The Filimore East Concert has left an indelible chapter in Rock history, but then so did the Experience Albums. So its more a case of no victor no vanquished, Hendrix wasn't about competition and comparison anyway.

Jimi died on September 18th 1970, exactly a year and a month after the Woodstock performance ostensibly from a Drug overdose, however what is clear is that he had a large amount of sleeping pills (not Heroine) in his system after death and an eye witness account was to the effect that he was alive when taken away by the ambulance i.e his zonked out girlfriend, who probably wasn't a reliable witness). Its necessary to mention that contrary to wild speculation, Jimi Hendrix was not a Heroine addict. He admittedly smoked Marijuana regularly and also experimented with LSD and Stimulants (obviously no angel) but never used Heroine as speculated. He was charged with, tried and acquitted of possession of Heroine when it was clear that it belonged to someone else who had placed it in his luggage. Alcohol was another matter, it obviously didn't agree with him as he would often fly into violent, paranoid rage. Otherwise a gentle, sensitive though eccentric guy. He often had a spaced out look and thrashed a few cars, not as some speculated under influence but largely because he was very short sighted and refused to wear glasses. It would have been interesting to see him in Horn rims.

So, a sad end for the prodigious talent, musical pioneer and ex -paratrooper of the 101st Airborne . A pity the greed and commercialism he abhorred plagued his estate after his death, with his siblings fighting over his enormous estate and the profits of his musical legacy till today.

Jimi had expressed a wish to be buried in England, unfortunately this didn' t happen and he's buried today in an uncompleted grave monument in Seattle Washington, uncompleted because the Trustees haven't quite gotten round to it, being somewhat distracted with milking the estate.

VAN MORRISON-" RINGWORM"

Quite a few of us know Van Morrison (or George Ivan Morrison, as his mum knew him) and certainly a few of us have loved his music over the years. His ever changing style has been characterised in general by tight structural arrangements and sometimes complex chord patterns. His hits over the years spanning the popular Brown Eyed Girl and Gloria(with the Band " Them"), Moondance, Domino, Tupelo Honey etc

Van Morrison's collaborations with some of the worlds greatest artistes is the stuff of legend- with names like John Lee Hooker, Ray Charles, Bob Dylan/Robbie Robertson (The Band), Cliff Richard, our favourite- Mark Knopfler, Oumou Sangare (from Mali) to name but a few. He'd also been an influence to some of the world's most popular acts- Bruce Springsteen (who he accused of ripping him off), Bob Seger (who agreed that Springsteen had ripped off Van Morrison), Patti Smith, U2, Rod Stewart, John Cougar Mellencamp, Joan Armatrading and many more. There has been little doubt of his immense stature and musical proficiency.

It was thus with some shock that I came across (a couple of years ago) what has been described as his most profound composition- a track from a recent release of recordings done under the Bang Record Label sometime in 1967. Bang Records being the second label he recorded with - as the Band "Them". To cut a long story short, these are the lyrics-

“I can see by the look on your face that you’ve got ringworm. I’m very sorry but I’ve got to tell you, you’ve got ringworm. It’s a very common disease. Actually, you’re very lucky to have ringworm, cos you may have had something else…..aarrgghh, whoo hoo, hoooo......." (scrappy Guitar strumming and then it ends).

Its difficult to convey the true character of this song unless you hear it. This is a performance of which if you heard it down at your local pub, you would dig deep into your pocket and give the Band all you had in there to persuade them to shut up and go home. However, after listening to this track several times in a bid to understand its rationale, I was compelled to concede its incredible charm and potency.

The fact is that at the time the recording was made, Van Morrison was totally fed up with the record label but was obliged to record the album contractually, hence the recordings were a potent way of sticking his middle finger at the record company but complying with his contractual obligation to record. In short it was pure genius!!. There is no coincidence that the recordings of which this song is one, were never released till the late 1990's thirty years after being recorded. I recall one of the tracks on the recording, consists of Van Morrison grunting and strumming his Guitar tunelessly from beginning till its sorry end- fantasti.

A distinctive trait of this great musician has always been his authenticity, the guy has always worn his heart on his sleeve and (as a true Irishman) been led by his convictions. I was not disappointed.

I've included a link to a site that streams the song. Its definitely worth a listen.

http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/0509/van/11_-_Van_Morrison_-_Ring_Worm.mp3

If the link doen't work, then copy and paste.

SKINNERS RATS

This page is dedicated to two of Britain's greatest unsung Musical heroes. Barry Laing and Peter Currie who are the only surviving personnel of the original Ceilidh/Barnyard (Folk) Band - Skinner's Rats. For the clueless, this musical genre is the true Traditional music of the British Isles (covering Irish, English and Scots Music- really ought to ask them what they've got against the Welsh).

Barry and Peter started out in the late sixties as part of the Hartley Morris Men. Now there has been a tendency for the ignorant to simply dismiss Morris performers as a bunch of twits in funny hats and white shirts, jumping around with handkerchieves. Undoubtedly there do exist persons who may be aptly described as Twits amongst the fold (or indeed prats )come to think of it, but such a cadre is a Global malaise rather than purely localised to Morris Men, amongst whom are some extremely talented and proficient musicians- as these two gentlemen most definitely are.

Skinners Rats was formed about 1970 in the Kent Countryside by these two gentlemen and another chap called Paul Thompson. The line up being Barry on Fiddle, Peter (Blossom) on the Accordion and Paul on Harmonica. One of their high points being a memorable performance at the Roundhouse in Chalk Farm as part of the line-up in the Greasy Truckers Concert in 1971. Legend being their stealing the show during the Power outage (remember the Miners Strike and the three day week- oh bliss..) to the tumultuous reception of a huge crowd of well err...greasy truckers and other Beatnik types with the symbolic raised lighters.

The personnel of this Band changed several times over the years though the consistent denominator remains Peter and Barry. Performers over the years included Ian Petrie, Rick West, Steve Shorey, Dave Olsen and more, all being highly talented/respected artistes in their own right.

My personal admiration of these fellows being their solid consistency and professionalism over the years and faithfulness to their art and heritage (an oasis in a sordid commercial age), In addition their uncommon decency and Integrity as human beings never fails to endear.

Attendance at a Skinners Rats performance (my last being on St George's day last year, I of course succeeded in missing this years performance after forgetting the date) promises to warm the heart and take one back to a time of wonderful simplicity and pure unalduterated Joy.

The Band has also recorded prolifically and probably their best recording has to be the album - "The Boys can play anything". My personal favourites being "John Barleycorn" and "Carrickfergus".

These guys are unlikely to play the Royal Albert Hall (though I pray they do) and are unlikely to have swooning teenagers at their feet (unless one counts the 19 year old lad passed out at the George and Horse after a few Pints too many), however they embody true musicianship, hard graft, consistency and professional integrity, which is to be celebrated ahead of transient commercial hype.

I cannot commend them enough to you. Please, take time and visit their Website and show your support.

http://www.skinnersrats.com/

The Wedding Ceremony/Party- Musings

Be it a standard Wedding Reception, a Garden Party or whatever, the pages of this blog and beyond shall be insufficient to describe the true, stark, dark, gut-wrenching, sleep-depriving, stress, inducing, bile-producing, mind-bending, heart-rending commercialised self-parody the whole business sadly is.

The irony to me is that an event that serves to celebrate the simple affection and commitment between two ordinarily well-intentioned human beings becomes the exact anti-thesis, in essence a veritable theatre of modern warfare , wherein the combatants employ the most sophisticated In-Theatre tactics/strategies and Battlefield initiatives that would send the most Battle-hardened and sophisticated Pentagon apparatchik trembling with fear in the corner of the room with his thumb in his mouth and blanket in the other hand (apologies Charles Schultz..)

Nowhere is man's stark naked hypocrisy and vile nature so shamelessly on display from the Cruella De Villian smiles of the mothers-in-law on both sides to the painted on Anna Nicole- Smith grin of the bride on her big day, notice no one ever refer's to it as the Groom's big day.

I would ordinarily go into more detail but I fear for my life and the inevitable death threats I shall receive in consequence of this post. However I leave you with one thought, do you not think that the Wedding Ceremony is one in a long line of Opus Dei rituals designed as a method of self-inflicted torture for willing participants which along the line has been hijacked by dissident elements of the Freemasons as a subtle plot for world domination. By destroying the financial and mental well-being of the young and maybe not so young but most definitely impressionable, naive and vulnerable participants. A sinister rite of passage into the brotherhood of the Ring (or wedding band!).

The more important question being how you could bring yourself to read this whole heap of dross I've written here. I worry for you.

WE'VE BEEN WAITING DAVID

It was interesting to hear David Cameron advocate the repeal of the Human Rights Act yesterday, very well done. In what was obviously a very well thought out, carefully considered and planned knee-jerk reaction to the story of the Convicted/Re-offended Asylum seekers as well as the other story of the 9 Afghan Hi-jackers he - I repeat called for the scrapping of the Human Rights Act 1998 as being out of tune with the Interest of the Country.

The Human Rights Act, for those who may not be aware is not simply a Law enacted for the sole protection of Asylum Seekers and Immigrants wanting to come in and feed on the benefits system, but a UK enactment of the tenets of the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR) which simply provides the framework for guaranteeing certain basic rights which are in any event taken for granted, i.e the Right to protection from Inhuman and Degrading Treatment, The Right to property, to Fair Hearing and a Private and Family Life. The Human Rights Act provides a Legal framework for the active protection of these rights.

David may have overlooked the fact that the Act may be used by the following, the list is by no means exhaustive:

1. An Old-aged Pensioner who has been deprived of her right to her entitlement by a shiftless, constipated Public Officer, acting unreasonably, by way of an Application for Judicial Review.

2. The Parents of a Mentally Disabled Child who seek to obtain an Order challenging the Local Council for an Unfair piece of Local Legislation which prejudices their child and others in his/her position.

3. To challenge an Unfair (or potentially unfair) decision by a Professional body sitting as a Tribunal in relation to a member of that body.

4.To challenge a decision by a Public authority to build a Nuclear Waste disposal plant next to your Kids school or to challenge any acts causing severe Environmental pollution emanating from the acts of a relevant body.

5. In general any Unfair or Unlawful decisions by a Public body affecting your personal rights as a Citizen (be it rights to personal possessions, Fair hearing, Private and Family rights etc).

This bizarre case of verbal defaecation by David, however does not surprise me, for indeed he is a politician and by their trade, they pander to public opinion whether reasonable or otherwise and to make it worse he's by training a PR-Man, which makes his pre-disposition to so pander even more palpable.

There is no doubt that the Human Rights Act needs modification or indeed re-Interpretation, however that has been done extensively by the Courts (it is their job by the way) who have narrowed down severely the avenues for abuse by the unscrupulous. For instance, it is extremely difficult to simply seek leave to remain in the United Kingdom as a foreign national on the basis of your marriage or family relationship to a UK citizen or resident (without returning to your Home Country to make the relevant application and according to the applicable UK LAWS) the threshold has been raised so high by the Courts (The recent cases of Mahmood, Huang and Kashmiri come to mind) that you would have to have an extremely compelling reason to succeed with such an application. In any event it is not to be assumed that every application along these terms is a dodgy application, there are a lot of meritorious and heart-rending instances, however that is another matter.

In short, it is possible to modify the Human Rights Act to bring it in line with the legitimate National Interest as far as is possible without threatening to scrap it and to have made such a comment, I personally would consider Irresponsible coming from a man who seeks to lead and has sought to present a new pragmatic face for his party. I repeat, Im not surprised, you can't be a member of a Gentleman's Club called (wait for it)... "Whites" without having certain viewpoints. I'm sure his comment shall find currency with certain cadre (In Bermondsey, Barking and Dagenham to name but two) but the last time I checked, he proposes to be Prime Minister not a Local Councillor. Please David, your country needs viable opposition to Labour, but not this way mate. This was cynical, disingenuous, opportunistic and ill-judged...... Goodness me! Having said that I sincerely apologise, I forgot these are the Classic traits of a First rate Politician of which you are one- In fact I should actually congratulate you- well done old chap!

MIKE ROYKO CONTD

Terribly sorry to flog this subject but, this is an article that just has to be read. From the University of Chicago press http://www.press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/730735.html

February 16, 1973

What's Behind Daley's Words?

Several theories have arisen as to what Mayor Daley really meant a few days ago when he said:
"If they don't like it, they can kiss my ass." On the surface, it appeared that the mayor was merely admonishing those who would dare question the royal favors he has bestowed upon his sons, Prince Curly, Prince Larry, and Prince Moe.
But it can be a mistake to accept the superficial meaning of anything the mayor says.

The mayor can be a subtle man. And as Earl Bush, his press secretary, once put it after the mayor was quoted correctly: "Don't print what he said. Print what he meant." So many observers believe the true meaning of the mayor's remarkable kissing invitation may be more than skin deep.One theory is that he would like to become sort of the Blarney Stone of Chicago. As the stone's legend goes, if a person kisses Ireland's famous Blarney Stone, which actually exists, he will be endowed with the gift of oratory. And City Hall insiders have long known that the kind of kiss Daley suggested can result in the gift of wealth.

People from all over the world visit Blarney Castle so they can kiss the chunk of old limestone and thus become glib, convincing talkers. So, too, might people flock to Chicago in hopes that kissing "The Daley" might bring them unearned wealth. Daley, or at least his bottom, might become one of the great tourist attractions of the nation. The Blarney Stone has become part of the living language in such everyday phrases as "You're giving me a lot of blarney." That could happen here, too. People who make easy money might someday be described as "really having the gift of the Daley bottom."

That is one theory. Another, equally interesting, goes this way: Throughout history, the loyal subjects of kings and other monarchs have usually shown their respect with a physical gesture of some sort. In some places, it was merely a deep bow or a curtsy when the ruler showed up or departed. Others, who were even more demanding, required that the subjects kneel or even crawl on all fours. (A few Chicago aldermen engage in this practice.) In some kingdoms, those who approached the big man were expected to kiss his ring or the hem of his royal clothing.

Daley has already ruled Chicago for longer than most kings reigned in their countries. At this point, many of his loyal subjects view him as more a monarch than an elected official. It seems obvious that he intends to pass the entire city on to his sons, which is a gesture worthy of a king. So it would be only natural that he might feel the time has come when he is entitled to a gesture of respect and reverence that befits his royal position.

And what he suggested would be simply a variation of kissing a ring or a hand. Instead of kissing the royal hem, we would kiss the royal ham. Although I have not read of any king expecting a kiss in precisely the area the mayor described, why not? One of the hallmarks of Chicago is that we do so many things in an original manner. What other city has made a river flow backwards? What other city makes traffic flow backwards? And it would be quite original if we had a leader who greeted us backwards.

Where else would a leader turn his back on his people and be cheered for it? History also tells us that in some ancient kingdoms, a person who had some terrible illness thought he would be cured if he kissed the feet of the king. Could it be that the mayor is launching a low-cost, and low-slung, health program for us? I am sure there will be some people who won't want to show their affection for the mayor this way. As one man put it, when he heard what the mayor had said: "If Daley wants me to do that, then he sure has a lot of cheek." But there also are the loyal followers, typified by radio disc jockey Howard Miller, who declared over the airwaves that the mayor has "more brains in his bottom" than his critics have in their heads. While I might disagree with Miller on the quantity of cerebral matter, I won't quarrel with the location.

In any case, we will maintain our efforts to find out what the mayor really meant. We hope to get to the bottom of this story. Or should I say, to the story of this bottom.

MIKE ROYKO

Mike Royko, was one of America’s most Influential and respected Newspaper Columnists, whose writing style, in a career spanning 34 years- till his death in 1997, was characterized by Political and Social satire, in a down to earth manner that showed his Blue collar working class background (The son of Polish Immigrants) in Chicago his birth/work place and won him the Pulitzer Prize.

A prolific columnist- if there was one- who wrote an average of 5 pieces weekly for The Chicago Tribune, he was famed for his ascerbic wit, Integrity and caustic tongue; famously he waged a one-man campaign against the corrupt, bigoted political establishment in the Chicago City Hall headed by Mayor Richard Daley.

He also took on the American Bureacratic machine, of note being his savaging of the Veteran's Administration Board, who repeatedly refused a young Vietnam Vet funding for an operation to restore his ability to swallow, after a serious injury.

Mike Royko was also famed for his principled refusal to work for Rupert Murdoch’s News International, after its takeover of the Chicago Tribune where he worked for several years, on the principle that Rupert Murdoch had more interest in the figures than Journalistic pursuit. He often referred to Murdoch- less than fondly- as “Alien”

Here are a few of his quotes

On Rupert Murdoch :“No self-respecting fish would be wrapped in a Murdoch paper”

"In Alien's Tongue, 'I Quit' is 'Vacation " (In response to Murdoch’s insistence on reprinting his old articles after his resignation).

"Fried chicken, fried chicken, fried chicken. I said it and I'm glad. Sue me," Responding to Editorial Guidelines from the University of Chicago prescribing that certain words regarded as un-PC- including "Sweetie" and curiously, "Fried Chicken" be expunged from Newspaper Columns as sound editorial policy.

"The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons".

On Mayor Richard Daley, in tribute after his death- “In other ways, he was this city at its worst — arrogant, crude, conniving, ruthless, suspicious, intolerant….He wasn’t graceful, suave, witty, or smooth. But, then, this is not Paris or San Francisco…….He was raucous, sentimental, hot-tempered, practical, simple, devious, big, and powerful. This is, after all, Chicago.”

"I never went to a John Wayne movie to find a philosophy to live by or to absorb a profound message,
I went for the simple pleasure of spending a couple of hours seeing the bad guys lose."

"Whether one eats a cat or not is a personal choice, and I don't want to sway anyone one way or another. But if you do, there is one obvious cooking tip: Always remember to remove the bell from the cat's collar before cooking."

It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies. Definitely touched a sore nerve somewhere (mea culpa).

Below is a link to three of his articles.

http://www.press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/730735.html

HUNTER S THOMPSON

Inspirational and borderline psychotic Literary genius, an influence on a whole generation of Journalists and champion of Counterculture. Espoused a style of radical iconoclastic Journalism coined "Gonzo Journalism", a term coined by his friend Bill Cardoso (origin in the French Canadian word "Gonzeau"- or Shining Path)

A truly manic, driven, often bizarre but truly sensitive and deeply honest character (sometimes contradicted by his "creative" articles, probably more influenced by Drugs/Drink than base character) with a profound sense of Justice.

Famous for his Books, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hells Angels, Kingdom of Fear , The Rum Diary et al. As well as numerous articles for Rolling Stone Magazine. Famously committed suicide at his writing desk on February 20 2005.

Just thought to put together a number of his famous quotes:

Honesty - “Telling the truth is the easiest way; it saves a lot of time. I've found that the truth is weirder than any fiction I've seen.”

On later life- “I live in an extremely pastoral setting in an old log house. It's a farm really. I moved here 30 years ago. I think the only fortification might be my reputation. If people believe they're going to be shot, they might stay away.”

On his criminal record -“First, there's a huge difference between being arrested and being guilty. Second, see, the law changes and I don't. How I stand vis--vis the law at any given moment depends on the law. The law can change from state to state, from nation to nation, from city to city. I guess I have to go by a higher law. How's that? Yeah, I consider myself a road man for the lords of karma.”

On drugs- "I do not advocate the use of dangerous drugs, wild amounts of alcohol and violence and weirdness -- but they've always worked for me."

On life- "Buy the ticket, take the ride,"

On Richard Nixon- "his casket should have been launched into one of those open-sewage canals that empty into the ocean just south of Los Angeles. He was a swine of a man and a jabbering dupe of a president. He was an evil man--evil in a way that only those who believe in the physical reality of the Devil can understand it."

"Nixon was a professional politician, and I despised everything he stood for—but if he were running for president this year against the evil Bush-Cheney gang, I would happily vote for him."

On Bush/Cheney- "Who vote for these dishonest shitheads? They are the racists and hate mongers among us -- they are the Ku Klux Klan. I piss down the throats of these Nazis."

To his first wife, when she was on the brink of a nervous breakdown, after the death of their daughter, 12 hours after birth-”Sandy, if you want to go out there for awhile — do that, just know that Juan (their son) and I really need you”. She recovered soon after this.

A Thompson Guide to Car crashes-"No. 3 - Have no small wrecks. If you are going to loop out & hit something, hit it hard. Never mind that old-school physics bullshit about Irresistible Force & the Immovable Object………...No. 5 The smoking of oili hashish is optional, and in truth Not Recommended for use before driving at speeds up to 150mph in residential districts. The smoking of powerful hashish should be saved until after yr. return from the drive, when nerve-endings are crazy & raw.

On the Hell’s Angels, who he lived with and wrote about- "Of all their habits and predilections that society finds alarming, this departure from the time-honored concept of "an eye for an eye" is the one that most frightens people. The Hell's Angels try not to do anything halfway, and anyone who deals in extremes is bound to cause trouble, whether he means to or not.”

On Jean Claude Killy a 1968 Olympic Gold Medallist who was on a promotional Campaign for Chevrolet, a Brand he endorsed- - "nothing in his narrow, high-powered experience can allow him to understand how I can watch his act and say that it looks, to me, like a very hard dollar—maybe the hardest."

Last notes written for Rolling Stone Magazine, 4 days before his suicide-"No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun—for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax—This won't hurt."