Femo!!!

I was shambolicking around the University of Lagos in the early 80's (as students do, even though it wasn't my school), when a came across a strange sight- a Volkswagen Beetle, driven by a skinny, dark-complexioned, bespectacled fellow. Not ordinarily a strange sight, since skinny bespectacled persons of dark hue are not forbidden by law from driving Beetles, no matter how old. The issue for me was that the said Beetle had a strange passenger- A Double Bass tied to its roof! Presumably because it couldn't fit into the Beetle. Come on admit it, that is strange for anywhere much less Lagos in the early 80's. This ladies and gentlemen was my Introduction to the dude- Femi"Digger"Elias.

Now I can imagine some wise-ass asking whats a Double Bass? Well thats one up there, happy now? I've thrown in a photo of a Beetle for good measure, now can I carry on? Thanks very much.

I never saw the geezer again but heard about a year later, this "bad" Bassist, who played like Jaco Pastorius and could rip up Bebop lines like a shredder and who occasionally played at Nigeria's most popular Jazz venue at the time, Jazz 38, run by the eclectic couple- Tunde and Fran Kuboye.

I never did hear this guy until sometime in the summer of 1994 or 1995 at a Jazz Club run by my very close mate Majek- the legendary Jazzville. I saw the same skinny dark fella mount the stage with the trio of the brilliant Greek Guitarist/Physicist- Sotiris Papadopoulos (who was the bestman at my wedding), Dele Sosimi on Piano and the talented but heady Wille Bestman on drums. No need for superlatives, I was simply blown away nuff said. That brother was awesome.

What amazed me more was his easy, unaffected manner, he simply played the damn thing, no posturing or faffing around, he absolutely murdered the Bass Guitar, which I noted to be a fretless number ( a la Pastorius).

I got a bit of background info on the fella subsequently and found out the following:

a. That he was (or is) rated as one of the world's top 12 Bassists;

b. That he had a Ph.d in Law and also happened to be a Lecturer in International Comparative Law at Kings College London.

We later met in London in 2002 and had a chat about working together in studio on a track and once again this guy amazed me with his modesty and willingness to "give it a go". Three years later, I emailed him an mp3 of the track I wanted him to play and within a week Femi came to London, we went into the studio (The Premises in Hackney) and got to work on the track, there were a couple of rough takes. I excused myself to get a cup of tea for all from the canteen and guess what by the time I got back after 8 minutes, guess what? The dude had finished, the result?- faultless. Probably not the typical track to exercise his immense skills, but here's one example I can show you. http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=49183&songID=2201875

Femi lived in Geneva for a fair while, working with the UN as one of the Programme Officers in the Commission set up to deal with compensation for affected entities in the 1st Gulf War. He currently works at the Hague- still with the UN, don't ask me I don't know what he does there, I was far more concerned with the fact that a superstar was playing Bass on my single absolutely free and even bought my kids a meal, I could hardly be seen to be Interrogating him on his 9-5 in the circumstances. I'm h0wever aware that he still teaches at Kings College as a Visiting Professor of International Law.

He has increasingly played less, as the pressure of work takes its toll, but faithfully gigs with his old school-mate- Dele Sosimi's band and featuring a talented array of some of the best instrumentalists in the UK (and indeed the first female Afrobeat percussionists- Angela Alhucema). Some might or should be aware that Dele was Fela Kuti's Keyboard player and an accomplished composer in his own right.

Otherwise there really is not much to say, he says so little about himself, hence whom am I to blow his trumpet. A real gentleman, a distinguished academic and a closet Hippy I say salut!Thanks for all dude.

I've attached a link to his myspace page, which characteristically Bros has forgotten to update for a while.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=94666742

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=52858369

MIKE ROYKO

I know I've written this before, having said that my admiration for Mike Royko goes beyond caring if I'm repeating a post, so please read it and stop complaining.

Mike Royko, was one of America’s most Influential and respected Newspaper Columnists, whose writing style, in a career spanning 34 years- till his death in 1997, was characterized by Political and Social satire, in a down to earth manner that showed his Blue collar working class background (The son of Polish Immigrants) in Chicago his birth/work place and won him the Pulitzer Prize.

A prolific columnist- if there was one- who wrote an average of 5 pieces weekly for The Chicago Tribune, he was famed for his ascerbic wit, Integrity and caustic tongue; famously he waged a one-man campaign against the corrupt, bigoted political establishment in the Chicago City Hall headed by Mayor Richard Daley.

He also took on the American Bureacratic machine, of note being his savaging of the Veteran's Administration Board, who repeatedly refused a young Vietnam Vet funding for an operation to restore his ability to swallow, after a serious injury.

Mike Royko was also famed for his principled refusal to work for Rupert Murdoch’s News International, after its takeover of the Chicago Tribune where he worked for several years, on the principle that Rupert Murdoch had more interest in the figures than Journalistic pursuit. He often referred to Murdoch- less than fondly- as “Alien”

Here are a few of his quotes

On Rupert Murdoch :“No self-respecting fish would be wrapped in a Murdoch paper”

"In Alien's Tongue, 'I Quit' is 'Vacation " (In response to Murdoch’s insistence on reprinting his old articles after his resignation).

"Fried chicken, fried chicken, fried chicken. I said it and I'm glad. Sue me," Responding to Editorial Guidelines from the University of Chicago prescribing that certain words regarded as un-PC- including "Sweetie" and curiously, "Fried Chicken" be expunged from Newspaper Columns as sound editorial policy.

"The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons".

On Mayor Richard Daley, in tribute after his death- “In other ways, he was this city at its worst — arrogant, crude, conniving, ruthless, suspicious, intolerant….He wasn’t graceful, suave, witty, or smooth. But, then, this is not Paris or San Francisco…….He was raucous, sentimental, hot-tempered, practical, simple, devious, big, and powerful. This is, after all, Chicago.”

"I never went to a John Wayne movie to find a philosophy to live by or to absorb a profound message,I went for the simple pleasure of spending a couple of hours seeing the bad guys lose."

"Whether one eats a cat or not is a personal choice, and I don't want to sway anyone one way or another. But if you do, there is one obvious cooking tip: Always remember to remove the bell from the cat's collar before cooking."

It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies. Definitely touched a sore nerve somewhere (mea culpa).
Below is a link to three of his articles.
http://www.press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/730735.html

Taslim Elias

Taslim Elias was born in Lagos, Nigeria in 1914 and had his early education in local schools, graduating with A Levels in 1934, prior to this he had gotten married in 1932 to his life-long Partner.

In 1934, he joined the Nigerian Railway and served in the Chief Accountant's Office for nine years. Whilst here he enrolled with the University of London as an external student and passed the Intermediate examinations for BA and LL.B degrees (In Law). He then travelled to the UK in 1944, on admission to UCL. He enjoyed an idyllic cruise to the UK, interrupted infrequently by Luftwaffe bombs. He graduated in 1946 and was later called to the Bar at the Middle Temple in 1947, he also received his LL.M (Masters degree) in the same year and his Ph.d in Law in 1949.

He started his academic career at Manchester University in 1951, as a lecturer in Law and Social anthropology and then on to Oxford in 1954 (at the Institute of Commomwealth Studies, Nuffield College and Queen Elizabeth House). In 1956, he became Visiting Professor of Law at the University of New Delhi and also taught at the Universities of Aligarh, Bombay and Calcutta

Elias returned to London in 1957 and was appointed a Governor of the School of Oriental and African Studies, University of London. He became involved in Nigerian politics as the Legal Adviser to a political party the NCNC and was one of the architects of Nigeria's first Constitution. He was appointed Nigeria's first Attorney General and Minister for Justice in 1960. He retained his position even after the military coup of 1966, although he briefly lost his position in the initial cabinet purge following the take-over. In the interim period between his dismissal and re-instatement, he became Professor and Dean of the Faculty of Law at the University of Lagos.

He was the first Black man to be awarded the LL.D (Doctor of Laws) by the University of London in 1962 for his essays in Commonwealth Law, this being in addition to his Ph.d of 1949, essentially two Doctorate degrees.

In 1972, Elias was appointed the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Nigeria, he had of course kept himself ....busy in the interim period by active membership of (1961-1975) and at one point Chairing the United Nations International Law Commission (1970). He was at the same time member of several Regional and Global Legal Institutions and was part of the team that drafted the Charter of the Organisation of African Unity and the Constitution of the Congo. He was President of the World Council of Judges and a member of the International Council of Jurists.

In 1976, he was elected a Judge of the World Court (International Court of Justice) at the Hague and subsequently became its Vice-President in 1979, he subsequently became President of the World Court in 1982, upon the retirement of Sir Humphrey Waldock, a position he held till 1985 and remains the longest serving member the World Court. In 1987, he was appointed to the Permanent Court of Arbitration.

Elias, was a prolific Legal author of International Stature with publications on International Law/ Conflict of Laws, Constitutional Law and in particular was the first African Legal author, he as responsible for several seminal Legal works on African Legal systems, notably Nature of African Customary Law", "Africa and the development of International Law" and "The development of the Constitutions of Ghana and Sierra Leone". His first and -for his countrymen, his most important work was "Nigerian Land Law and Custom", published in 1951. The importance of this work being the immense research involved in documenting, a hugely complex and fragmented body of local customs and tenets and marrying them with equally complex Common Law doctrines. I need to qualify that the fusion of both systems was not pioneered by Elias work. There having been a dynamic process begun by a number of Colonial statutes and important Judicial decisions, of the Supreme Court in Lagos and on a wider scale by the West African Court of Appeal. Elias work was however an extremely important reference text which greatly assisted the Courts in developing an incredibly difficult area of Law

He died in Lagos Nigeria on the 14th of August 1991.

A man of outstanding intellect and ability, he was also greatly respected for his Integrity and character. This reputation was not affected by the speculative charge of nepotism levelled against him by a local paper, which accused him of influencing a Judgement in favour of his brother, in 1975. A charge which was neither logical nor supported with evidence and was undoubtedly political. Simple fact being that in a landscape of bloated, Immoral, weightless and self-serving Intellectual midgets invariably Elias was going to and did make enemies on account of his perceived aloofness and high-mindedness. What was proven however was that his assets and dealings were open to scrutiny- unlike his detractors- and showed plainly, a scrupulously honest and prudent man. The fact of his appointment to the World Court in the aftermath of the spurious allegations, is testimony to his probity, if there was any foundation to the charges, he simply would not have been admitted to this position.

I never met this man, but remain proud of our shared heritage. I was a young Barrister in Lagos on his death and as such never had the privilege of appearing before him. He was an Intellectual giant by any standards and was an inspiration to two generations of African professionals and academics in the diaspora. From his perilous journey by sea to the UK to seek an education, to his dogged and pioneering rise through adversity and prejudice to carve a career path that took him to places that no other person of his ethnic persuasion had ever attained. His story speaks for itself.

Denise Kaufman

I borrowed a CD a couple of months ago from a work colleague, titled the 60's Garage collection, but basically a collection of US Mod singles from the 60's (for the Ignorant, if you've ever heard the tracks "Louie Louie" and "Liar Liar"- alliterative character unintended- then you've heard Garage- not to be confused with the modern British urban variant). Garage was the fare of several bands around the California area mainly which spread hence to the rest of the US, some kind of rebellious reaction to the more bland offerings of Surf Rock available. In short a kind of Punk forebear. More info on this genre here if you're interested. http://www.finerecordingstudio.com/g45/

I shall confess that only about 5 of the 16 tracks on the album appealed to me, now one in particular struck me significantly, the song kicked off with a raw Harmonica Intro and straight into the body and did it rock! A totally off-key but powerful Bassline, a fairly simple progression and some kick-ass raw and almost harsh female vocals. Put this in context, I was listening to this CD whilst driving to work on my daily masochistic pilgrimage and on a particularly horrendous day of gridlock around the A13/A12 circuit.

The lyrics were another thing- "you saw me out with your best friend, I did it then and I'll do it again, boy if I leave you what would you then.....you know the wild life I like to live and I can take more than you can give........take me as I am or else we're through.." Now these were pretty bold lyrics, not shocking in a 90's sense but certainly for the time 1965.

A bit more digging and I found out the song was written by a young lady, basically reading the riot act to her preppie boyfriend, who was obviously trying to keep her wayward ways students from the California area, the young girl- a diminutive, mousy, poker-faced, tough little cookie, by the name of Denise Kaufman (bottom picture above and left in middle pic) and the preppie boyfriend? Well.. a certain Jan Wenner, who so happened to have been freed by the end of his relationship with Kaufman to found Rolling Stone Magazine in 1967.

The song was originally recorded by Denise as a solo artiste and I believe subsequently with her band the- Ace of Cups, hence the song can be found on certain compilations under the heading- Denise and Company or plain Denise Kaufman.

Denise, was born in 1946 in Boston to a British mum and American dad. learning her trade from an early age at the San Francisco conservatory, she played the Piano and wrote Poetry. She met a guy called Lonnie Hewitt at UCB and actually recorded the solo single under his label. It does appear however that the band was formed before this single was recorded, as she didn't join the band till late 1965, with existing members being- Mary-Ellen Simpson, Diane Vitalich, Marla Hanson and Mary ? (she doesn't give her surname).

The Band did not have a particular direction until the advent of Kaufman, here's a quote from Mary on this:

"We didn't have a "concept" at that time - a thought of what we were going for, but that was soon gonna change when the fireball with the cowboy boots and a full set of harmonicas showed up. She was Denise - I don't know what she got to 1480 Waller or what she thought of us, but something clicked in her I know, She opened up everything for us. Her friendship with a holy man named Ambrose Hollingworth, her friendship with Wavy Gravy and members of the Grateful Dead, with whom she had hung around on "The Bus," her connections with Leslie Scardelli through Ambrose and through herself, and also her friends at Fantasy Records to say the least; - all these people she shared with us, and at that point we became something more than just a bunch of straggling artists/musicians. She was connected to the scene - and she had a vision of what we could be. At that time, we were blind - but still moving, she gave us a destination. Denise also had a friendship with Ralph Gleason and his family, and that would bounce us up to a lot of good reviews in the SFCronicle (We earned them -Ralph was an honest reviewer)."

This band's style was rough, raw, liberated and rebellious and they took the California scene by storm, playing several gigs around the area. I don't believe they broke the National market..no, no too radical. However the California scene was pretty big and they made some very strong impressions, notably opening for Hendrix at the Panhandle Concert in 1966. They formed a close relationship with Hendrix, and the Grateful Dead. The Band also opened for Muddy Waters in a couple of gigs in Chicago.

Its unclear how the Band broke up, though more likely they simply drifted apart, pursuing different Hippy goals. Undeniable however is their influence, they were one of the first successful all-female bands and particularly interesting was their strong feminist message at a fertile period in American history. They were the forebears of the girls with attitude principle, carried on by Suzi Quatro et al. They may not have had global popularity, but they certainly were gutsy pioneers in their own right and as they would admit, they weren't virtuosos but played from their hearts and did it show.

Denise Kaufman today plays in small venues around San Francisco and teaches Yoga, the band had a recent reunion, more spiritual than musical. I'm definitely a fan.

Do take a listen to the song and others here http://www.mp3.com/ace-of-cups/artists/36418/songs.html?tag=tabs;songs&om_act=convert&om_clk=arttabs

Also here's a link to their website http://www.theaceofcups.com/acesite1.html

The Omoigui's

Its not really my practice to do the hero worship thing and I shan't, however you have to give respect where its due. Also I'm always loathe to mention my mates names for obvious reasons, however I shall say once again give credit where its due.

The mate in question is Eghosa Omoigui (top right photo, he was a lot better looking when we were at Uni), however this isn't about him but about his parents- Daniel and mum Grace Omoigui. Why? Simple, picture this, a young UK trained Surveyor returns to Nigeria in the late 50's (I believe), gets a job in the colonial civil service gets married to a young woman - a School Teacher, from a fairly distinguished local family from Benin city in Mid-Western Nigeria, Daniel's hometown.

From my knowledge, the young family's life was grounded in very simple values- a. Hard work; b. Character; c. Honesty and; d. Strict discipline. Discipline all said, I never saw a more genuinely egalitarian family in terms of the opportunity for expression of an opinion (a sensible opinion of course) and they could have a laugh, believe me, many boozy evenings spent with Eghosa at Uni and several more afterwards as young Barristers- this time with his younger brother Nosa, give me the vista to comment.

Daniel Omoigui was pretty old school, a studious, serious-minded, focused Catholic professional gentleman. Completely devoted to his family, he impressed on his kids the simple character of choosing a path, making an effort and being consistent till attainment, simply put take the long hard road and reap the rewards.

To give you an inkling as to the character of this gentleman, for many years there'd been a running border dispute between Nigeria and the neighbouring Cameroon, which even went to the International Court of Justice. Daniel Omoigui was asked his opinion as former Surveyor-General. His response was simple - The territory did not belong to Nigeria but to Cameroon. Now this was plainly an unpopular opinion to say the least, but anyone who sought his opinion on the subject and who expected anything other than the truth, simply didn't know Daniel Omoigui. The fact is that he was asked a question and answered it truthfully and unequivocally, what more did anyone expect? http://www.guardiannewsngr.com/homes_property/article04

Grace on the other hand was a doting yet stern mum, who after a long career as a teacher and in her late fifties err...went back to school, studied Law and qualified as Barrister- nuff said.

Eghosa and I were classmates at Uni (and subsequently Partners in a Law Firm) and on one occasion, I remember him preparing a statement of monthly expenditure for a term at University- as he had to and upon submitting it to his dad, the statement was promptly rejected because it hadn't been signed. Eghosa had a good laugh and a dig at his old man (as indeed he always did), but Dad wasn't laughing and stood his ground, needless to say the dude had to sign it, those were the rules and you just didn't change them and once a budget was submitted, that was it, no amendments, no supplementary budget or cry for help, you simply had to manage. Another example being Ifueko, the only girl in the family who inspite of a career as Country Partner at Arthur Andersen and running a hugely successful Globally recognised Management Consultancy still drove a 30 year old Peugeot, being a present from her parents on Graduation (it had been mum's old car). Believe me that is humility.

Daniel Omoigui retired from the Nigerian civil service at the height of his profession- Surveyor-General, without (as I always put it) amassing the corrupt millions of his peers and set up a private consultancy now retired as an honest, principled and fulfilled old fellow.

Lets ask the question, what was the result of all their effort as parents: Lets take a look at the kids:

Nowa- A Professor of Cardiology at the University of South Carolina and respected Military Historian;

Sota- A Medical Doctor (Anaesthesiology) and author of an authoritative work on American Biomedical Law;

Ifueko- The only girl in the family. A Chartered Accountant, former Partner- Arthur Andersen and currently Head of the humongous and challenging Nigerian Inland Revenue Service, recognised by Time magazine as one of the world's most outstanding young leader's. Cited Internationally for her ethical reform of the Nigerian Tax establishment- believe me no easy feat.

Eghosa- A Barrister and Senior Attorney Intel Capital, California. One of America's biggest Venture Capital Houses (yes its the same Intel).

Nosa- Now this is a story. A former Programme Manager and Researcher at Microsoft, and winner of several Research awards, now CEO of Nervana Inc, who designed and patented an Innovative search capability for Biomedicine. His story was the stuff of tabloid, talk about swimming against the tide and winning. I've included a link to his story, if you've ever been discouraged please read this, if it ain't character don't know what is. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2002260740_search03.html I wouldn't accept that it rubbishes my previous post, but will say that it supports my belief that if its incongruent it won't work, whilst if there is a basis for endeavour then fight for it.

Basically I just wanted to pay a tribute to old fashioned values and hardwork, which is what this family is all about. Its not simply on account of the kids being Doctors and Lawyers or whatever, I have no doubt that if Eghosa chose to be a Pig farmer or a Footballer, of course there would have been some resistance probably because his parents would have felt his gifts lay elsewhere, however if that was his insistence his parents would have merely demanded that he put his back and heart into it. The fact is that Eghosa and his siblings aren't just a bunch of driven professional types, I know them to be totally adjusted ordinary people dedicated to their lives, families and jobs without the overwhelming burden of ego. Strange, but believe me this once, its true.

I'm proud to have known Daniel and Grace Omoigui and by the way, they're Nigerians, so they're not all Drug pushers and Fraudsters right?

On a less serious note, I did tell you they had a sense of fun, take a closer look at Nosa's photograph (centre above), a fridge full of Beer sums it up, now didn't I tell you he was well adjusted?

Incongruence

A square peg in a round hole? Simple lesson of life (as if I actually listen to my own bloody advice!) is that where indices or factors in a system are incongruent, a state of disequilibrium exists.

Motivational speakers at any level will tell you that there is virtue in endeavour, work at it, try hard, keep pushing (familiar mantras). Quite correct...when the basic congruence or logic of endeavour is established.

I truly admire Salmon, having said that I am a bit concerned at the futility of their endeavour in swimming against the current and then pegging it afterwards. Even the male Praying Mantis has some measure of purpose in its eventual demise after pleasuring the female species (for the ignorant, female Praying Mantis, as a rule bite off the heads of the male after Intercourse, having fulfilled his God-given task of impregnating the female). I remain unconvinced that there is any significance of purpose in the Salmon's predisposition to swimming against the current, cal me stupid but thats my view.

My thoroughly subjective view is that if ain't happening it ain't simple. Life is such a massive experience, there is just so much on this earth to absorb and exercise that is the simple beauty of this world we live in. The paucity of vision often causes us to narrow our field of vision and prospects. That restricts us to remain in a situation of stagnance of and angst.

There are of course many instances in which one cannot change one's circumstances, it would be naive of me to state otherwise, simply because I choose to advance my silly little argument. Of course many of us are unable to make certain choices because they simply do not have them, but the undeniable fact is that where there is the clear option of choice and one chooses to stagnate or even suffer, then thats a different manner.

Follow a dream, fight for a credible goal, however one has a responsibility to ones self to be honest about one's situation or indeed any situation and act remedially in ones interest. Make of this what you will however the thoughts only passed through my mind an hour ago. Have a great weekend.

Rules for those on the rebound

I wrote this post a few months and basically forgot about this, absolutely nothing serious intended and in all honesty, I have no-one specifically in mind.

1. Do use Internet Sites, but please leave out your ex's name from your profile and resist the temptation to either slag him/her off or elicit, sympathy. Fact is nobody cares.

2. Avoid swinger's sites, you'll end up with obese men/women (usually called Les or Bess with hairy backs- and thats the women), who live in Essex or Yorkshire.

3. Resist the urge to buy a brand new convertible, you'll need the money for the ancillary relief proceedings (your Lawyers have to eat you know).

4. Stating the obvious- resist the urge to bore your dates with tales about your relationship, they really don't care and prepare yurself for the unending round of repeating your life story for every single bloody date. It may be useful to have a recorded version you can play back, I guarantee your date will be impressed by your tech savvy.

5. If you must take up Salsa dancing, resist the urge to drool and/or grope (as well as telling your dancing partner about your ex, they are even less likely to care, trust me).

6. The word love is to be used with care, because you would be lying dude, at least allow for an hour after meeting your date before professing your love, its only good manners.

7. Don't get carried away with the outward appearance or rather take particular care, for men check if she has an adam's apple, it usually means she (it) was or is a man. For women, well.. sorry don't know you'll have to find out the hard way.

8. Joining the Church Choir has its advantage's but limits your choice somewhat. however do exercise care whilst choosing the Choir uniform, it could make or break you.

9. The Book club is another angle, but snoring during a reading of Arthur Miller is unlikely to assist your cause, Gwen (the one with the tweed jacket and ample chest who you've been trying to impress with your knowledge or lack of it of Kafka) will not be impressed.

10. Most importantly, take your time make friends and pace yourself.

Loser?

In my room at Uni (22 years ago to be precise) on the wall was a strange cryptic sticker with the inscription "Loser?". No one ever knew what the word meant or what it celebrated/denigrated. It just stayed there staring at you and was either a grim or amusing companion depending on your mood at the time. It was especially a sad reminder of your inadequacies when you got dumped by a girlfriend, when you were broke (as was constantly the case), when you had just flunked an exam etc.

It was particularly poignant for me when I went a particularly difficult period in my 3rd year, not wanting to go into any extensive detail, it was an extremely difficult time all round and which I emerged from with the help of close friends like the Pedantic Paediatric Surgeon, the World Bank Wunderkind (who by the way ought to stop being so stingy and get married...and be miserable like the rest of us). and the Nerveless Neurosurgeon. I used to stare at that darned sticker and many thoughts would go through my mind, predominantly what or who is a loser? Are Losers born or made? What are the innate skills required to qualify for Fellowship of this genre? Is it a permanent state of being or merely a transient phase for which we are all destined to transit (Prince William excluded of course....alright I'll leave the poor boy alone, he's got enough to contend with, the poor sod, being 2nd in line to the Throne and having a posh, fit girlfriend, lots of cash and so on and so forth..)

Those were the 80's, the decade of the Yuppy, Dynasty, Michael Milliken, Donald Trump and symbolically- Gordon Gecko. The decade of the Big Bang and the Wall Street revolution. A decade when wealth was revered as the New World Order, even shoulder pads came to symbolise the seeming invincibility of the Uber-Race- the Winner! This was a season when no quarters were taken or given, a rapacious period when social consciousness or corporate responsibility was a text-book concept espoused by bearded academics with bushy beards, sandals and thick glasses. By the 90's however and with the collapse of property and stock markets and the end of the cold war the 80's buzz had lost its gilt edge, not to speak of the fallen heroes of this era Milliken in particular who went to jail, Trump who went Bankrupt etc That is some sort of background, but this post is not about history.

The movie The Pursuit of Happyness set me thinking about this concept in more detail. Whats is the conventional description of a loser. In modern terms, definitions include:

a. A lazy under-achiever; or indeed b. A hard-working under-achiever; c. A person experiencing a bout of ill-fortune; d. A person who has consistently failed to achieve at any or one particular activity. The next question being what is achievement and what in what context can there be said to be a failure to achieve and indeed to what extent can an individual who fails to attain the Fellowship of the Guild of Losers.

Achievement: Defined by the Cambridge dictionary as:

1.something accomplished, esp. by superior ability, special effort, great courage, etc.; a great or heroic deed: his remarkable achievements in art.

2.act of achieving; attainment or accomplishment: the achievement of one's object.

Okay then , from my limited knowledge of these things I would presume that what constitutes achievement would depend on what part of the landscape you're located. In one end of Los Angeles, achievement is measured by your Bank balance, Real Estate portfolio, status and profile, now in the other end of LA, its measured by the amount of Bling on your person, the number of times you've been in Jail, the gang you belong to, the cash you flash - and not your Bank balance (since certain earnings are not passed through the Banking system). In the UK similar disparities apply depending on whether you live in Hampshire or Hackney. In parts of Africa, a man with only one wife is seen as a bit of a loser, likewise an honest Civil Servant who diligently does his job, retires quietly without amassing corrupt millions/a Swiss Bank account and who lives off his pension in retirement, is viewed with a measure of incredulity (ask my Dad he'll tell you). In simple terms, achievement is viewed in the context of the location.

However I've noticed a common thread around the world in terms of the achievement index- money. In one form or the other, its all about money, money is achievement whether you're a Stockbroker in New York, a Gangster in LA, a Farmer in Africa or Trader in Mumbai, your society measures your achievement by the extent of your wealth. Its a simple fact.

Money - or its acquisition- is a measure of effort in most societies and the more you have the more the measure of your effort and/or ability. So by consequence a measure of lack of achievement is thus err...lack of money. Basically society's general statement is if you ain't got it, you're a loser. You may be an extremely Intelligent Scientist, but in the broader index, your prominence or measure in society is far less than a tanned, quiffed city gent in the employment of an Investment Bank, whose bonus alone would fund the budget of the Scientists Research Lab. By collateral argument, society would value a Jade Goody or indeed a Shilpa more than it would a Primary school teacher in Tower Hamlets. In fact to use a simple analogy, Jade Goody is valued more as a vacuous celebrity than she was as a hard-working (if rather dim Dental Nurse). An obscure High street Immigration Solicitor representing genuine Asylum-seekers or a Legal Aid Family Lawyer who represents vulnerable women and children is valued far less than a Corporate Lawyer in a Magic circle Firm. Simple fact- try explaining to your Bank Manager that your income from your Legal Aid practice is slightly more than £1000.00 a month and the question you're asked is if you're actually a Solicitor. I draw no final conclusions, the argument is of course far more complex, however these are simple facts.

There is tendency in human beings to seek superiority over others. Self-actualisation is a fundamental human need, this is indexed to the achievement of attaining society's objective. Hence you cannot think of yourself as being rich or cool or good-looking without the comparators of those who are poor, un-hip and quite frankly- ugly. Its part of human nature and manifests itself in different ways. Either in our need to define others as Losers or indeed to show how above such base thinking we are.

There has been a counter-culture of glorification of the Loser. Listen to Becks single and get a feel for what I mean. Beavis and Butthead, Homer Simpson and Waynes World being examples of Generation X' reaction to the "Winners" Hegemony. Basically a middle finger at society's definitions of achievement, hence the glorification of the hapless William Hung (remember him). This is not necessarily new, the whole Hippy Movement being based on the same premise.

A personal view would then be that a the only criticism that I would levy on the basis of achievement is that one has a duty to exert oneself to realise the potential of whatever gifts you are born with to whatever extent your circumstances allow you. The crime is in not trying in my view. Having said that the argument is not watertight, how many gifted persons fail to achieve on account of the opportunity just not existing. It would be absurd to criticise an over-worked single mum for not realising her potential as a Mountain climber or a middle-aged dad, who's spent most of his years working to support his family- not succeeding as a Jazz Singer.

Everyone has a story and all our circumstances differ, where you are today may not be where you'll be tomorrow or the next. I once met a man whose ragged appearance totally disguised the fact that he had been a successful Bank Manager a few years before, he was about to sell the last piece of Land he had to keep his kids in school and had walked about 13 kilometers to pick up the cheque from my office, I've never forgotten this. Take a walk around a homeless shelter and speak to a few of the down and outs. Amongst them you shall find former City Bankers, Solicitors and Army Officers with glittering careers and status.

All it takes is a twist in your circumstances (in many instances for which the person had no fault) and its amazing how things change. Make a wrong Investment decision or be made redundant and sometimes Financial problems occur, Bankruptcy follows, which cause family break-down, which results in depression and sometimes drug and alcohol use and the rest is anyone's guess. Remember for one second the drunk who fell asleep on a Railway track, a few months before he had been a successful Company Director, with a family, by the time he was found on the Railway track, he had lost everything and was caught in a spiral of drink and depression.

The Movie the Pursuit of Happyness- being based on a true story- was very moving even though there were a number of glaring inaccuracies therein- such as the age of his son and the fact that in real life, he was actually paid $1000.00 during his Internship, also it failed to mention that the mother of his child was his mistress, with whom he had cheated on his wife. The fact however is that his life showed two things:

a. If you have a gift/goal, fight for it and never allow yourself to be discouraged;

b. A man/woman's condition at a given time is never a measure for where they might be tomorrow, never write off anyone.

Now to answer the question- Loser? The answer is in you, if you accept the title then it fits, life in this circumstance is based on choice. Everyone has a gift and a part to play on this earth. Cynical as I may be in general, I genuinely believe this.

The Season of Good Cheer?!?

A very happy new year to all.

In line with the general feeling of good cheer attendant with today or someday next week- deemed by psychologists to be the most miserable day of the year (unless you live in Baghdad, where every bloody day is a nightmare) I leave you with a totally subjective and selfish thought- It is never a good idea to go jogging in winter in cycling shorts and a flimsy t-shirt, especially in the rain. Neither is it a good idea to book a return ticket for an International destination without re-confirming prior to attempting to return.

The sum total of a failure to heed such advice is that it could be a fairly unpleasant start to your year. In conclusion, I shall send a goodwill message to all my long-suffering mates who are subjected to reading all this tosh by repeating the old saying culled from the Autobiography of the Nigerian Scholar Tai Solarin- "May your road be rough". Not at all negative but in line with the Nietszchean quote- "What does not destroy me makes me stronger".

Having said that some of us wouldn't mind Prince William's luck- good-looking bloke, nice posh bird, decent pay packet, assured career prospects, pension plan, mortgage paid off, paid holidays, free pass to Premiership matches and I'm absolutely sure- Free Beer (all he bloody well has to do is ask yeah?

Don't get me wrong I'm not jealous, of course not (said to the sound of my nose growing longer).

Happy new year anyway and may all our dreams be realised this year (Prince William excluded naturally)