The Ultimate Superhero!

Its really humbling to meet someone with so vastly superior a force of arms that compels you to accede complete defeat.

A week or so ago, I woke up as I sometimes do in a very bad mood and left for work in a grumpy self-indulgent mood, which wasn't helped by an idiot who stepped on my shoes on the 137 bus to Marble Arch- who then sneered at me for good measure, my reaction being to call him a cretinous moron who if he had half a brain would have stayed home with his head in the microwave with a tin-foil wrapped round his forehead. He of course threatened me, with my bored reaction being simply that I was a 40 year old with two children, on my way to work with better things to do than get into physical confrontation with a heap of organic waste and that if he was keen on a sparring partner, he could start with the blow-up doll he had shop-lifted. To put it mildly, I was in a bad mood.

Anyway our gormless friend was not the source of my admiration, the story goes like this, I was rushing off to the nearby Tesco durin my lunch break or in the 15 minutes I allow myself for a meal during the day, when I almost bumped into this bent over prim and proper looking octogenerian lady- in the space-restricted alleyway we both found ourselves- dressed rather symbolically in black from head to toe, from her hat to her shoes, I apologised and made a rather unintentional but admittedly patronising gesture of courtesy going "you first ma'am" her reaction was a pretty simple- F..K YOU! with a huge smile on her face. My first reaction being complete shock and then complete and utter amusement and I just could not help bursting into uncontrollable laughter, her reaction- with an even bigger smile on her face being the complete coup de grace - JUST SHUT UP YOU MUSCLE-BOUND BUFFOON! - Completely dumbstruck, I crumpled to the floor in paroxysms.

To put it mildly, this old lady had completely floored me with two sentences, I went through the rest of my day with a huge smile on my face and in complete awe of this formidable old bird. An enquiry from my Septuagenerian Restauranteur friend- Mario (owner of one of the oldest cafes in Soho) was to reveal that she was an old wealthy Jewish Widow and an institution in Soho for her acerbic tongueand formidable character, clearly she had met more worthy opponents than myself.

I dedicate this blog to this old Amazon, you certainly cheered me up and I salute you!