Monday, May 08, 2006

A PRESIDENTIAL PRESENT

My band and I had a gig at a posh location in the West End early last year and I recall being approached on arrival with our equipment, by a tall, stunning mixed race lady who- in appropriate arrogant, Diva-like fashion- informed me (I would have used the word "told", but that would have not have befitted the manner in which she addressed me- splitting hairs again, I know) that she was the main solo Vocal act for the evening and would like a sound-check done straight-away. In my usual calm and pragmatic manner (I told her to piss off), I explained to her that the organisers hadn't informed me previously and as such I might not be able to accomodate- since she was asking me for the use of my PA system . After the intervention of the disorganised, half-wit organisers of the event (who grovelled appropriately), I grudgingly obliged. Necessary to mention that it was a Charity event of which as usual we were performing free (hence our sustained poverty), as sucn we were minded to be cool.

The lady (for want of a better word) did her thing, sang some hideous cover songs out of tune and I might mention, genuinely seemed surprised that she didn't get a standing ovation from the irritated audience (which consisted of a couple of MP's and other persons of questionable character- just kidding, they were lovely people and extremely accommodating of the hideous organisation of the event).

Anyway, the point of this story is this, a popular African President came to town in October last year and at the event of his Country's Independence Party and as is his wont, he asked his Aide's to sort out some" local action". Incidentally our Diva as referred to above (hereinafter referred to as the Tuneless Diva "TD") was there-present and was more than willing to do her Patriotic duty (being that her Dad was of the same Nationality as His Excellency) and entertain her President in a manner distinct from the Musical.

As the story goes, His Excellency goes into the Presidential Chamber in London with his prize only to run out screaming after 30 minutes (in his appropriately crested underwear). Apparently the Prez had been sold a Trojan horse and the word Horse here is not used loosely, apparently TD had not quite saved up enough money to complete her Gender conversion operation and still possessed attributes that would be the pride of any Alpha male. Our Prez quaked for a good 2 hours thereafter in floods of tears and deep shock (aww...the poor darling!). TD was promptly dispatched from the Presidential chamber and into the autumnal London air by the President's aides (whom I might mention also quaked in a flood of tears, though rather anti-thetically from laughter and probably not for 2 hours or in front of the President).

It would have been good manners if she had told him, although she probably might have and being somewhat unsophisticated, he might not have understood, or he might have put it down to playing hard to get. We will never know.

The more serious side to this is that its a true story and I happen to have a connection with the country in question, having been born there and having been privy to the hunger, suffering and deprivation this country has suffered in the last 46 years- inspite of its enormous natural wealth, size and skilled manpower. My sadness and this blog, goes beyond chronicling the trivial dalliance of a moronic bufoon but more to highlight the fate of this country in the choice of its leaders. Did, I hear you mention Prezza? Not fair that was below the belt- literally!

http://www.gonzo.org/

1 Comments:

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4:19 pm  

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