Rules for those on the rebound
I wrote this post a few months and basically forgot about this, absolutely nothing serious intended and in all honesty, I have no-one specifically in mind.
1. Do use Internet Sites, but please leave out your ex's name from your profile and resist the temptation to either slag him/her off or elicit, sympathy. Fact is nobody cares.
2. Avoid swinger's sites, you'll end up with obese men/women (usually called Les or Bess with hairy backs- and thats the women), who live in Essex or Yorkshire.
3. Resist the urge to buy a brand new convertible, you'll need the money for the ancillary relief proceedings (your Lawyers have to eat you know).
4. Stating the obvious- resist the urge to bore your dates with tales about your relationship, they really don't care and prepare yurself for the unending round of repeating your life story for every single bloody date. It may be useful to have a recorded version you can play back, I guarantee your date will be impressed by your tech savvy.
5. If you must take up Salsa dancing, resist the urge to drool and/or grope (as well as telling your dancing partner about your ex, they are even less likely to care, trust me).
6. The word love is to be used with care, because you would be lying dude, at least allow for an hour after meeting your date before professing your love, its only good manners.
7. Don't get carried away with the outward appearance or rather take particular care, for men check if she has an adam's apple, it usually means she (it) was or is a man. For women, well.. sorry don't know you'll have to find out the hard way.
8. Joining the Church Choir has its advantage's but limits your choice somewhat. however do exercise care whilst choosing the Choir uniform, it could make or break you.
9. The Book club is another angle, but snoring during a reading of Arthur Miller is unlikely to assist your cause, Gwen (the one with the tweed jacket and ample chest who you've been trying to impress with your knowledge or lack of it of Kafka) will not be impressed.
10. Most importantly, take your time make friends and pace yourself.
1. Do use Internet Sites, but please leave out your ex's name from your profile and resist the temptation to either slag him/her off or elicit, sympathy. Fact is nobody cares.
2. Avoid swinger's sites, you'll end up with obese men/women (usually called Les or Bess with hairy backs- and thats the women), who live in Essex or Yorkshire.
3. Resist the urge to buy a brand new convertible, you'll need the money for the ancillary relief proceedings (your Lawyers have to eat you know).
4. Stating the obvious- resist the urge to bore your dates with tales about your relationship, they really don't care and prepare yurself for the unending round of repeating your life story for every single bloody date. It may be useful to have a recorded version you can play back, I guarantee your date will be impressed by your tech savvy.
5. If you must take up Salsa dancing, resist the urge to drool and/or grope (as well as telling your dancing partner about your ex, they are even less likely to care, trust me).
6. The word love is to be used with care, because you would be lying dude, at least allow for an hour after meeting your date before professing your love, its only good manners.
7. Don't get carried away with the outward appearance or rather take particular care, for men check if she has an adam's apple, it usually means she (it) was or is a man. For women, well.. sorry don't know you'll have to find out the hard way.
8. Joining the Church Choir has its advantage's but limits your choice somewhat. however do exercise care whilst choosing the Choir uniform, it could make or break you.
9. The Book club is another angle, but snoring during a reading of Arthur Miller is unlikely to assist your cause, Gwen (the one with the tweed jacket and ample chest who you've been trying to impress with your knowledge or lack of it of Kafka) will not be impressed.
10. Most importantly, take your time make friends and pace yourself.
posted by Seal67 at 1:21 pm
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